Finally - my second birthday - September 12.09.2013!!!!

Got my therapists referral to the endocrinologist - got an apppointment the same day - started hormones that very night!!!
Finally got the feeling that I arrived at where I belong!!!

Mark Schultzes song wraps all the thankfullness, happyness and hope up in such a beautiful package.

To me the love of the creator is being handed out to all creation, that includes transsexuals, homosexuals and lesbians just as much as anybody else - no matter what official church or religious views think about that topic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO4S86f8BvU&list=PL404AFAB9FC4DEA5C


I agree with Pinchas Lapide who wrote as preface in one of his books:

How can people expect to just get a glimpse of creation being handicapped with the narrowness of the human mind? We already have trouble communicating with each other and trying to speak in words what one really wants to say seems so difficult each day - using the limited means of speech - so how can we expect to understand the ways and means of the eternal.

So all I can say is:

Thank you, thank you for it finally happening, thank you for all the friends and support I got during my rough times and especially within the last 8 months.
I am so thankful that the road of happiness now is wide open for me to walk on - and going my first few steps here feels right and so good!

another question answered

Actually I wanted to start my last blog with reference to a song that is somehow symptomatic at how I feel at this stage. But then it grew into such an important element that I decided to devote its own space to that train of thought.

The song‘s title is »Fragezeichen« - which is the German word for »question mark« - written by German singer songwriter Purple Schulz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSWm9bgkidE

I admire Purple Schulze‘s courage to write and fight for a song like that. It‘s about how a person might feel having dementia or related illnesses like Alzheimer‘s disease. During the promotion tour radio stations all over Germany refused to play the song because its content got rated too gloomy and dull - not popular enough for the »happy-world« radio stations. But various German Alzheimer support groups now feature the song/ video on their websites. Check out the comments on Purple‘s Youtube video page for »Fragezeichen« to get an impression of what the song does to people. Literally thousands of Germans looking after family members or friends dealing with issues like that are so thankful for that song because it helps them to deal  with those day to day challenges.

To me the chorus of that song reflects in music and in words how I feel at this stage of my transition:

question marks

a lonely passenger on a lost ship in a raging storm with the fear of getting lost

with all those question marks

I don‘t know who I am and where I‘m at  - I‘d be happy if I knew where to go

To me the music reflects the yearning and desperate need to be sure about the direction I want my life to take and the hopes and dreams I need and want fulfilled - to finally be happy! But also the insecurity that comes with all plans  that are about to change my life so drastically.



But from Harald Wessbecher (http://www.haraldwessbecher.de/) I learned that in the end - or (I should have) in the first place - I need to follow the voice of my heart, the only giver of advice who knows what is best for me - coming from the power of creation of all things.